Things jokes
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
Been single for a couple of years and then I met this Muslim girl. She soon put the spark back into things.
What was the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The ten minutes of silence.
What is the best thing about being back?
Free bullets.
I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes
How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair, she looks 15.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Guys, I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things.
*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*
Why do orphans like stealing things?
They wanted to have company.
Knock knock.
Who's there? Discord server.
Discord server who?
This server is dead, bye bitches, I got better things to do than watch you sit here and type like a sloth.
What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?
The HIV test results.
One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.
Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."
What's the scariest thing about white people in prison?
How rare they are.
Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3
What is the thing that orphans miss the most?
Their parents.
People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.
I was the second worst thing to happen to those orphans.