Things Jokes

What is the best thing about being back?

Free bullets.

Been single for a couple of years and then I met this Muslim girl. She soon put the spark back into things.

One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.

Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."

I was the second worst thing to happen to those orphans.

What is the thing that orphans miss the most?

Their parents.

A black and brown dachshund walks with its back legs very stiffly while its front legs are more relaxed. The text on the image reads "Me playing with my son's thing when I change his diaper (The way it wiggles is funny)"

People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.

What's the scariest thing about white people in prison?

How rare they are.

Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3

What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?

"I'm sorry, I just had to."

Me: How does this thing work?

ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.

ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*

Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.

Fat people should expect big things when they take their shirt off.

What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?

The school shooter will always spare you.

What was Hitler's favorite thing to do to pass the time?

Smoking.

Prince will be coming back in 10 mins here is a joke.

Gwen: Prince sorry but I'm wanting someone else instead. You've just been a complete jackass toward me, sorry good night.

Prince: Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gwen: Good night!

Prince: Why?

Gwen: Because...now good night!

Prince: We can work some things out?

Gwen: Nope...NOW GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!!!

To be continued

Technoblade: I'm the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans.

Quackity: What is the first thing to ever happen to the orphans???

Technoblade: Quackity..... they're orphans.

(Disclaimer: not funny xD)

Hate me all you want, but I gotta say, this whole thing with Gwen and TJ is ridiculous.

A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I have never forgotten it.

A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass. The worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back and another train ran over him and cut off his head.

BAD IDEA and a lesson to us all.

NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)

So in prep class, the students were asked to write a letter to their grandparents for Grandparents Day.

Little Johnny's friend, Little Sally, wrote things like, "Thank you," and, "You are so nice!" And Little Johnny goes, "What are you doing? You got it wrong!" So Sally says, "What do you mean? It's a letter." Little Johnny says, "Why did you do it like that? Just write a letter from the alphabet like the teacher said!" Then he says, "I wrote a J to remind them of me!"