Things jokes
What do Special Ed kids and fast kids have in common? They like to do things sped up.
How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"
What's the worst thing about 9/11?
All of the stupid "Airplane" jokes.
I think I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. He sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger.
Mason: "Heh. Good thing I eat like a horse." He looks up at the waiter.
Waiter: "You are a nasty little bunny, aren't you?"
Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him... she was a HORSE.
Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.
so true
The first thing the emo did at the party is to pin the gun to their head.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day.
Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" shouts Molly.
"Correct," says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack's pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" she shouts.
"Correct again," says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm going to crack it in half!"
I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."
I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"
20 years later
Johnny: Hey dad.
Dad: Yea?
Johnny: Fuck you, I ain't comin' back to your grave in 16 years, then ima come back, BITCH!
Dad: Doing the same thing I did to you and your mother, ay? I deserve it :( ;O not real...NOT A FUCKING ALL.
Johnny: Yea you kinda fucking do.
Dad:...
The last thing I said to my dog was,
"Play dead."
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
Prince will be coming back in 10 mins here is a joke.
Gwen: Prince sorry but I'm wanting someone else instead. You've just been a complete jackass toward me, sorry good night.
Prince: Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gwen: Good night!
Prince: Why?
Gwen: Because...now good night!
Prince: We can work some things out?
Gwen: Nope...NOW GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!!!
To be continued
Hey, what are those things on your arms? They look like cuts. Wait, what? No, it's just marker. Nothing else...
What’s the most annoying thing about licking bald pussy?
Putting the damn nappy back on afterwards...
Is Gwen still on this app thing?
What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?
The HIV test results.
What is the only thing lesbians know how to grow? Cucumbers.
My grandmother made her passage on the Titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.
Your mum, your dad, The things you never had.
What's the worst thing about having a Congolese friend?
He always needs a hand.