Things jokes
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
🚘 What is as old as the earth 🌎 and new every month? The moon.
To all of you making jokes about orphans, it’s all fun and games until both of your parents leave you.
LMFAO (my parents left me and it’s not the funniest thing ever)
History is mostly just a list of things men did while women were busy making sure they didn't die of scurvy.
Stop posting things on orphan jokes, then!
What’s one thing women need to know nowadays?
Their place.
Did you know that chips taste like the baked potato in things called bags of chips?
What was the last thing going through the 9/11 victims' minds?
They don't say "shit for brains" for nothing. 🤣🤣
What's the first thing that a battered woman does when she gets out of the shelter?
My last if she knows what's good for her.
What's a cow's favorite thing?
A mooooovie.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Why can't all orphans learn about ancient Egypt? Because they don't know what a mummy is.
What are two things you could call a fart?
"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"
What do you call a wild cow in a shop with old things?
A bull in a china shop.
One day, Billy's teacher asked him, "I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"
Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."
"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"
"Maybe it was a tricycle."
"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"
The teacher grabbed Billy and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, "Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"
Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."
That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"
Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"
Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."
Billy sat up straight and said, "I KNEW that damn thing had wheels!"
There are 3 things wrong with this world.
1. Spelling
2. Maths.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Why are orphans so fond of shadows?
They're the only thing that accompanies them always.
What can fly?
Bird.
What’s positive in Africa?
HIV/AIDS.