They're jokes

Cotton

In fields of gold, where sunshine beams, Monkeys swing and play, it's their dreams. Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, Picking cotton with delight.

Their little hands so quick and neat, Plucking the cotton, can't be beat. They chatter and laugh, they dance and play, In the fields all day, they'll stay.

Their tails so long, their ears so big, They're quite the sight, it's quite a gig. They're busy as can be, you see, In the fields of cotton, they're free.

So let us marvel at these little thieves, In the fields of gold, they give and receive. Their antics bring us joy and delight, In the fields of cotton, they're always right.

Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags, "We have nuclear submarines which can stay underwater for six weeks without having to resurface!". Trump goes on, "Six weeks? That's nothing. I have the best submarines, they're underwater für at least three months!". Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears - "Heil Hitler! We need Diesel."

Basement

Anonymous · 5 years ago

What's the same about boxes and children?

They're both found in basements.

Parent

imsogay.com · 7 years ago

I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.

Depression

Equality Matters · 5 years ago

Men and depression have something in common; they’re always talking.

Online comment

RapBoat · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a dark-themed YouTube comment section. The main content is a lengthy comment from a user named "IvanLubin" which starts with "IQ?" and discusses the high IQ supposedly needed to understand Playboi Carti's music, referencing theoretical physics, nihilism, and Russian literature. It calls those who dislike Carti "idiots." The comment then shifts to praising Kanye West's album "DONDA" as a "cultural reset," followed by a comparison of choosing "Dinner with Jay Z" over $500,000 for financial success. The comment abruptly ends with a bizarre, explicit, and disturbing fantasy about wanting to have a baby with "Travis," describing the birth process in graphic detail. A red circle highlights the last few lines of the comment, which detail the desire to have a baby.

They're memes

Eye

Elizabeth · 3 years ago

Jon and Amanpreet were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest picking two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they got them correct, they’re deemed cured and free to go.

Jon was called into the doctor’s office first and asked if he understood that he’d be free if he answered the questions correctly. The doctor said, “Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?” Jon said, “I’d be half blind.” “That’s correct. What if I poked out both eyes?” “I’d be completely blind.” The doctor stood up, shook Jon’s hand, and told him he was free.

On Jon’s way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Jon mentioned the exam to Amanpreet. He told him what questions were going to be asked and gave him the answers. So Amanpreet came in. The doctor went thru the formalities and asked, “What would happen if I cut off one ear?” Amanpreet, remembering what Jon had said was the correct answer said, “I’d be half blind.” The doctor looked a little puzzled, but went on. “What if I cut off the other ear?” “I’d be completely blind,” Amanpreet answered. “Amanpreet, can you explain how you’d be *blind*?” “My hat would fall down over my eyes.”