They're jokes
Did you hear about the restaurant they're putting on the moon?
Good food, but no atmosphere.
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne doesn't cum on a kid's face 'til they're 13 or 14.
I hate stairs, they're always up to something.
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead!
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead.
Why couldn't the dinosaur clap? They're dead!
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
I once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "They're all dead hookers once they're in the trunk."
Why are mountains so funny? Because they're hill-arious! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, very funny!
We cut and kill flowers because they're pretty.
We cut and kill ourselves because we are not.
Why does Jesus never vacation on Earth?
Because he traveled down about 2,000 years ago, got with some Jewish chick, and they're still talking about it!
Why are colds such bad robbers?
Because they're so easy to catch.
They used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a comedian.
Well, they're not laughing now!
Tits are like Lego bricks. They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.
Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive? -- They're always eating out.
... and they buy Rolexes for their neighbors, because they wanna watch.
Why are Americans so bad at Chess?
They're missing two towers.
What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?
Deer balls. They're under a buck.