They jokes
Why did they invent white chocolate?
So Black people can be messy too.
Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!
Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?
Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5
I got fired from my job today at a banana factory. They said to throw away the bad ones, so I threw away the bent ones.
Stop making 9/11 jokes. They don't land so well.
I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a bulb?
None, because they all cry in the dark.
What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?
They are both nowhere to be found.
China is as fake as bitches with plastic surgery, and they talk about body positivity.
Why can't orphans never run all the bases in baseball? Because they can never make it home.
Don't be scared of skeletons.
They don't have the guts for murder.
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!
What's so special about bullets?
They do work after they are fired.
Person 1: "Where was Hiroshima?"
Person 2: "In Japan."
Person 1: "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
Communists don't play Minecraft.
They play Ourcraft.
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say, "I'm a real boy."
Why do strippers never care about things?
Because the last time they gave a fuck, it was for $20 an hour.
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.