They jokes
Stop making 9/11 jokes. They don't land so well.
I got fired from my job today at a banana factory. They said to throw away the bad ones, so I threw away the bent ones.
I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a bulb?
None, because they all cry in the dark.
What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?
They are both nowhere to be found.
Why can't orphans never run all the bases in baseball? Because they can never make it home.
Don't be scared of skeletons.
They don't have the guts for murder.
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!
What's so special about bullets?
They do work after they are fired.
Person 1: "Where was Hiroshima?"
Person 2: "In Japan."
Person 1: "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."
What do furries and fast food lovers have in common? They both love hot dogs.
Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
Why don’t midgets fight? They walk away to be the bigger man.
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
Why did orphans want to commit a crime?
Because they wanted to see what it feels like to be wanted.
No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?
They both smell like "Teen Spirit."
Bad jokes are like the planes in 9/11, they don't land.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.