They jokes
Why do they call my dick section 8?
Because all the hoes are on it.
If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.
They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.
Why was the orphan so successful?
They told him, "Go big or go home," he only had one option.
What do emos like to do when they're sad?
They play violin on their wrists.
Memes
Two baked beans traveled around Australia.
They both ended up in Cairns.
Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."
What song did the Titanic victims listen to as they died?
Ice, Ice Baby!!
Why can't orphans go to Home Depot?
Because they do not have a home!
I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!
How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and bitch.
What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?
They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."
Why can't an orphan play baseball or softball?
They can't find home. 🤣
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
So I went to the binoculars shop the other day. Tell you what, they saw me coming.
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
Why don’t cheetahs get married?
They always cheat on each other.
I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home.