They jokes
What is a cup called when they show a ton of emotions?
Answer: Expresso! (KILL MEH)
Why do strippers never care about things?
Because the last time they gave a fuck, it was for $20 an hour.
When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."
Why can’t orphans go on school trips?
They need a parent signature.
Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?
They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.
Memes
*woken*
I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.
Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.
I said, "a smile."
They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay.
My plan to avoid them is to not go to school.
Going to school is mandatory in this country.
Can you guess my plan?
What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.
They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.
Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!
How do rappers keep themselves clean?
They drop SOAP BARS.
Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?
To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.
I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.
They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.
My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.
So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.
Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"
Why do you have to watch your back at NASA? They want to probe Uranus.
Why do Americans suck at chess? Because they lost two towers.
What's an African's favorite sport to play, but they can't? Water polo.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.