They jokes
I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!
Why do orphans have phones?
Because they don't know how to call home.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Answer: Because they never knew what love was.
When you're mad, you might as well just punch an orphan because what can they do, tell their parents?
Q: You know what's morbid at a storage sale?
A: They give you more bids.
Who are the fastest readers?
911 victims, they went through 72 stories in less than 10 seconds.
I don't usually like to tell 9/11 jokes for two reasons: they're morally wrong, and they tend to crash and burn.
Whenever you think back to 9/11 and realize there are 12 hours in front of us, why the f*ck didn't they warn us?
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
So I laughed at their chalk outline.
Who's the world's fastest reader?
9/11 victims. They went through 90 stories in 60 seconds.
How do goldfish know when to eat?
They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.
Q: Two skeletons walk into a bar. What happens?
A: They fall.
(They walked into a BAR, as in a rod or whatnot.)
Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"
A: So they can look at their a**.
Why can't orphans go to homecoming? Because they don't have a home to go to.
Q. What do Canadian women and Canadian beer have in common? A. They're both stronger than they look.
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
I see my friends at school. They talk to me, they go back to class, but they forgot I am their classmate, and they were like, "You're a dumbie." And I was, "Well, you're a dumbass, bi***!"
If you're having a bad day, just slap an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
By recruiting sponsors, they help them find work in their first year.
Q: What do hookers and kittens have in common?
A: They both get dumped on deserted back roads.