You're so fat that when you got to McDonald's, they had to call Wendy's for backup.
They Jokes
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!
Why do orphans live on buses?
They never have a home to stop at.
What do dropouts and Boeing 767s have in common?
They crash and burn.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck a plunger down the toilet.
Punch an orphan, what are they gonna do: tell their parents?
Is your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go wayyyy back?
Q: Why do Americans suck at Clash Royale?
A: Because they already lost two towers!
Your hairline is so long they mistake your forehead for a football field.
Why are tomatoes green? Because they rot, like your mum.
Why can't orphans be gay?
'Cause they have no one to call "daddy."
If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan, because what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
You know why eggs can't tell jokes?
They crack each other up!
Why do orphans not know how to play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple?
One hits the ground when they fall from the tree.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
So they could finally call someone "daddy."
What do lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common?
They both live long with dry skin.
They are delicious.
