They jokes
If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.
They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.
Someone walks up to his dad and says, "Dad, what’s the difference between potentiality and reality?" Soo ok, the dad says to the son, "Go ask your mother, sister, and your brother if they’d sleep with the postman for $1,000,000." So the son comes back 5 minutes later and said, "Dad, they all said they would sleep with the postman." So, son, potentially, we have a million dollars, but in reality, we have two sluts and a gay one."
Why are orphanages like dogs?
Because they get adopted.
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."
Q: How do Chinese people name their kids?
A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
In Boston we say,
"Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, unzipped his fly and said ‘Hey Jill, you wanna?’ Jill said yes, unzipped her dress, and then they had a ‘daughta’" 🤣
Do depressed people hate swimming?
They hate it because they are already drowning in their depression, but they love it because it might make all their dreams come true.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers.
Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?
A: They tend to crash and burn.
Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder instead of being breastfed? Because they are too short.
WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!
Was it the pills that stopped his coughing, or was it the coffin they carried him off in?
Why do athletes cool down fast? Because they have fans.
Wash your hands.
Why do candles like birthdays?
Because they can get lit!
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."
If you're ever bored, kick an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.
What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands?
They can both do dirty things.
Why do lesbians get their belly button pierced?
So they have a place to hang the air freshener.