They jokes
What do hockey players and cops have in common?
They both use sticks to hit something black.
What's the difference between an office worker and a vegetable?
They both sit in "wheelchairs," but only one can get out of it.
Barack Obama and Tork Poettschke are at the Natural History Museum. They stop in front of a showcase.
"These are the eggs from the ostrich!"
"Aha, and where are Trump's eggs?"
What's one way to drain someone's ego?
Hand them a mirror, and say they should see how ugly they turned out in life.
When they said sin was ugly to look at, I didn't know God would use you as an example.
I got mad at my white friend today. I, as a darker person, had told them to meet me outside at 3 o'clock. They, being VERY special that day, had said, "AM or PM?"
Laughing at their question, I said, "Honey, 3 AM, because I'll lose a fight at 3 PM."
What do guns and women have in common?
They both get cocked and loaded.
Q. Why aren't midget jokes funny?
A. They always seem to punch down.
Why are priests so bad at racing? They are always in the 'little behind'.
Most of these jokes are plane, but they still hit.
Your momma is so slutty, they hired her as a condom tester.
Why don't orphans like getting lost?
Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"
The Towers wanted pepperoni pizza, but they got planned.
Yo mama so fat...
...people in Florida start buying flood insurance when they see her waddling toward the ocean.
I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
Your hairline is receding so hard, they petitioned it to change for the McDonald's logo.
Your forehead is so big, they used it for the Berlin Wall and the USA border.
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.
Why can orphans only watch G-rated movies?
Because they have no parental guidance.