They jokes
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.
How do 4 gay guys fit on one stool at the same time?
They flip it over.
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.
Why did the rapper go to the seafood restaurant?
Because he heard they had PHAT BASS.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?
"I thought what we had was special!"
All countries will get Covid.
Except China, they got it right off the bat.
We shouldn't call gay guys "fucking cunts" because they aren't fucking cunts, they're fucking assholes.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went for plastic surgery, they accidentally gave her face a Brazilian Butt Lift!
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.
How do rappers stay cool in the studio?
They turn on the mic and DROP THE HEAT!
Why were the rappers late for their flight?
They forgot to pack.
Do you know why they call me battery saver?
I get turned on when it’s below 10%.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They ain't got no home to run to.
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
Why can't Americans play chess? They have no towers.
Bro, is your hairline and your forehead good friends because they go way back?