They jokes

Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.

Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?

Because they had a fight, and 2021.

They say I have a silver tongue, I'll let you make it white.

I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.

At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”

What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?

They both enjoy digging up the past.

Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.

You have a father figure.

Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?

You keep the tradition of hitting black things.

I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.

Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?

Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!

All countries will get Covid.

Except China, they got it right off the bat.

A kid asks Trump:

Kid: "Where are the confidential files?"

Trump: "There they are, bud!"

Why did the rapper go to the seafood restaurant?

Because he heard they had PHAT BASS.

We shouldn't call gay guys "fucking cunts" because they aren't fucking cunts, they're fucking assholes.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she went for plastic surgery, they accidentally gave her face a Brazilian Butt Lift!

I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.

He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.

How do rappers stay cool in the studio?

They turn on the mic and DROP THE HEAT!

Do you know why they call me battery saver?

I get turned on when it’s below 10%.

They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?