They jokes
Once I took a test on waving signal flags.
They said I passed with flying colors.
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?
They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
So they could finally call someone "daddy."
What do lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common?
They both live long with dry skin.
Memes
They are delicious.
Orphans have 363 days on a calendar because they don't have Mothers' or Fathers' Day.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
Why does Britain suck at chess?
They lost their queen.
Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?
Because they don't have them on the inside.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't hit a home run.
I came on for an orphan joke.
Then I realized they are a joke.
What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple?
One hits the ground when they fall from the tree.
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"
Bro, the airplanes that crashed, darn it, they got MVP!
Why can't orphanages play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!