They jokes
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They throw a wok down the stairs.
What's one way to drain someone's ego?
Hand them a mirror, and say they should see how ugly they turned out in life.
What do hockey players and cops have in common?
They both use sticks to hit something black.
I got mad at my white friend today. I, as a darker person, had told them to meet me outside at 3 o'clock. They, being VERY special that day, had said, "AM or PM?"
Laughing at their question, I said, "Honey, 3 AM, because I'll lose a fight at 3 PM."
What's the difference between an office worker and a vegetable?
They both sit in "wheelchairs," but only one can get out of it.
Tork Poettschke says to Charles Bukowski: "You have beautiful teeth! Are they also available in white?"
Your hairline is receding so hard, they petitioned it to change for the McDonald's logo.
Your forehead is so big, they used it for the Berlin Wall and the USA border.
The Towers wanted pepperoni pizza, but they got planned.
Why are priests so bad at racing? They are always in the 'little behind'.
Putin: You came from the West and showered me with gifts.
Trump: And your prostitutes, they showered me with piss.
Why didn't Michael Jackson get away with messaging with kids? Because they were all juveniles.
Most of these jokes are plane, but they still hit.
Why don't orphans like getting lost?
Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"
The fact I couldn't hear the announcements at my school because the boys in my advisory are clapping with no hands should be a joke just in itself. They were making sexual faces as well, oh, and don't forget the moaning they do.
Why don’t Indians play soccer?
Because every time they’re at the corner, they build a store.
Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?
You keep the tradition of hitting black things.
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?
The sound when they hit the windshield.
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?