They jokes
Why were the Twin Towers angry?
Because they ordered pepperoni, but they only got plane!
There once was a bear and a rabbit, and they hated each other.
The bear and rabbit then stumbled upon a mystical talking tree. The tree said: “I can give you 3 wishes each if you will stop fighting!”
So the bear went first. “I wish all the bears inside the forest are ladies.” And all the bears within the forest became females.
The rabbit said: “I wish I had a helmet.” Rabbit gets the helmet, and the bear looks at him funny.
The bear wishes: “I wish all the bears in the United States are ladies.” The wish was granted.
The rabbit says, “I wish I’ve a bike.” By this point, the bear thinks the rabbit is the stupidest thing he’s ever seen. The rabbit could wish for cash and have all the bikes in the world.
The bear says: “I wish all the bears inside the world are women.” The wish is granted.
While it’s the rabbit’s turn to wish, he puts on his helmet, gets on his bike, and says: “I wish that bear is gay.”
I have fuck and sex with all the sexy naked ladies and they suck my balls (penis), but you ain't have no girlfriend. Your only friend, they call him ching chong coz of your hairline.
A bus full of ugly people is driving down the street. The bus crashes and everyone goes to heaven. They see Saint Peter, and he feels bad for them and grants them one wish before they go into heaven. The first one says, "I wish to be attractive." The second one says the same.
Meanwhile, the 3rd person in line is giggling and snickering and laughing while Saint Peter is granting wishes. Curiously, he asks why he is laughing. He says, "I was going to wish that they turned ugly again."
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's day.
I do not understand why people aren't scared of spiders. I mean, like they have 87447924872320984623879480327678987388025873289576348097923408370983728 legs and 23864867759578590893839420387424763478923748394783294327428748243264278 eyes.
I saw a spider in my room. YOU THINK I'M GONNA SLEEP IN THERE?????????
Nope. I'm moving to Japan.
KONNICHIWA
If you're bored, punch an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why don't churches have WiFi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they didn’t have a home.
Have you ever had Ethiopian food??
Neither have they.
Why do they call my dick section 8?
Because all the hoes are on it.
Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
Even if you do burn down an orphanage, it's not gonna matter. It's not like they have homes.
Why can't people eat pizza? Because they will be unavailable.
I was doing some karate the other day at the studio.
They kicked me out because I was doing “kungi fui.”
If you have an emo kid army, they'll kill themselves before they get to the field.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.
Why is a deck of cards similar to a miniature pony?
They are both jokers.
What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.