They jokes

Man

Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!

Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!

Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!

Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!

What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!

What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”

How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!

What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!

Woman

Men built civilisations. Men went to the moon. Men invented the modern comforts of today’s society.

Women did none of those. They are useless, only fit to be baby making machines.

Orphan

You know why orphans like boomerangs?

Because they come back, unlike their parents.

Feminazi

How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they can't change anything.

Memes

Suicide

If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.

Businessman

Two businessmen bought the Milwaukee Bucks for $500 million. They are very excited about their transaction, for this is the only legal way to own black people.

Food

“Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?”

“No.”

“Neither have they.”

Orphan

Why don't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

Friend

So I was on a Discord call the other day, and one of my friends, an American buddy, joined, and we had a conversation.

Until they said: "When did pounds change to quid?"

And I said: "They're the exact same thing."

Then they said: "But when did it happen?"

So I said: "When did school change to shooting range?"

Orphan

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

Orphan

Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.

Girl

Why do girls wear classic rock T-shirts? Because they are stupid little bitches who need to grow some fashion sense because wearing old shit doesn't make you unique.

Lie

What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?

They believe their own lies.

Difference

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and the people at the old folks home?

They both collapsed.

Pedophile

What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?

They both shoot when they see kids.

Emo

What's the difference between an apple and emos?

They both hang on trees.

Volcano

What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?

They both erupt when triggered.