They jokes

Three blonde girls are on an island, and they are much too far away from land to swim. They find a genie on the island who offers them each one wish. The first girl says, "I wish I was smart enough to get off this island!" So the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island.

The next girl says, "I wish I was even smarter than her so I don't have to do so much manual labor!" So she turns into a brunette and makes a sailboat and lets the wind take her off the island.

The final girl says, "I wish I was smarter than both of them!" So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.

Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.

God sent gays to fix overpopulation. Until they ended same-sex marriage.

What do orphans have in common with mute children?

They can't talk to their parents.

What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common?

A: They both come in a little behind.

Babies are like airstrikes; they get aborted.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because they can't make a home run.

They put the woman's rights in the fantasy section in the library.

I would like to tell more jokes about 9/11, but they always crash and burn.

French fries weren't originally cooked in France. They were cooked in Greece.

What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Tell them to clap until they see their parents.

Why can't an orphan make a YouTube channel?

'Cause they can't make it family friendly.

Q: How did the explorers get to school?

A: They rode the Colum-bus!

Bosses are like seagulls.

They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.

Why do orphans go to church so much?

So they can have someone to call father.

Why do lions 🦁 go to SUBWAY 🥪?

Because they like to EAT FLESH.

Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing."

The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."

I donated to the LGBTQ community. Hopefully now they can find a cure.

Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.

They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."

Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.

He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.

"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"

Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.

He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.

He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"

They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"