They jokes
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father.
Why do lions đŠ go to SUBWAY đ„Ș?
Because they like to EAT FLESH.
Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing."
The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."
Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.
I donated to the LGBTQ community. Hopefully now they can find a cure.
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.
They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldnât see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? âIâm looking for the man who shot my paw!â
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
Whatâs red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
Whatâs the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
Men built civilisations. Men went to the moon. Men invented the modern comforts of todayâs society.
Women did none of those. They are useless, only fit to be baby making machines.
You know why orphans like boomerangs?
Because they come back, unlike their parents.
How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they can't change anything.
If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.
Two businessmen bought the Milwaukee Bucks for $500 million. They are very excited about their transaction, for this is the only legal way to own black people.
How do they execute paraplegics?
With the electric wheelchair.
âHave you ever tried Ethiopian food?â
âNo.â
âNeither have they.â
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.
So I was on a Discord call the other day, and one of my friends, an American buddy, joined, and we had a conversation.
Until they said: "When did pounds change to quid?"
And I said: "They're the exact same thing."
Then they said: "But when did it happen?"
So I said: "When did school change to shooting range?"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
Why do girls wear classic rock T-shirts? Because they are stupid little bitches who need to grow some fashion sense because wearing old shit doesn't make you unique.