They jokes

Why is the USA bad at chess?

Because they lost two towers.

I love telling jokes about orphans.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Why can't an orphan be gay?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."

Yo mama is so ugly, when she tried to join an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"

Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?

Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.

Wanna hear a poop joke?

Nah, they always stink.

I bought a wooden whistle. I tried so hard, but it wouldn't whistle.

So I bought a steel one. It still wouldn't let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It still wouldn't lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes, so the wood would lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....

Why do orphan girls become prostitutes?

So they can call someone "daddy."

What do a priest and a pedo have in common?

Nothing, they both like kids.

You want to hear a 9/11 joke?

I bet they did too!

Why couldn't Cinders use horses to pull the Pumpkin Coach?

Because they were too busy playing stable tennis!

The first trains were often derailed. They had a bad track record.

A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."

I stepped on a cornflake. They accused me of being a serial killer.

Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?

A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”

Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?

Because they don’t have any pockets.

What is hard about having a relationship with an astronaut?

They are always so distant! :-]

Joke: Genders are much like the twin towers. They used to be two, but now it's a sensitive subject.

Dark jokes are like kids with cancer, They never get old.

Why does NASA only serve Coke?

Because they can't get Seven-Up!