Theses

Theses jokes

Bee

  • These are bee puns.🐝

    I BEElieve you are eager to hear!🐝

    I love to BEE a little 9 years old writing on this page.🐝

    (Last one) I want to BEEcome a BEE. ;-; I kid... Like this now and please Subscribe to Kelly Qin on YouTube and she is my mom and she has a bake channel!

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  • Name

  • These are some of the greatest names ever: Dixie Normous, Dixie Rekt, Ka Monmi, Ice Wallow Kum, Dick Sinsider, Anita Biggerman.

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  • News

  • "If all of these structures break we will all die."

    And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"

    And he said, "It would be breaking news."

    Chandelier

  • What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?

    One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.

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  • Rapist

  • Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.

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  • People

  • Why do people come on here just to say that we should not be making these jokes? They literally look this shit up just to complain.

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  • Steak

  • "Waiter, my steak is too skinny."

    "It's a strip steak, sir."

    "At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!"

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  • Twin

  • So, at school there are these twins. At my school, I folded two paper airplanes to throw at them. Once I realized why it felt so wrong to do it, I had already threw them. I hit the north, then the south one.

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  • Bet

  • An old man gets a call from the IRS.

    The man on the phone says, “We’ve noticed large sums of money coming in and going out of your account constantly, and we gotta get this straight. Come in tomorrow and we’ll have a chat about this.” The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him.

    The next day the old man and his lawyer show up to the IRS office, and the man there says, ”So we’ve noticed these large sums of money entering and leaving your account nonstop. Can you explain this?” The man replies, ”Well, I will bet on pretty much anything. Like this! I bet you 10,000 I can bite my own eye.” The agent takes the bet, and the man takes out his glass eye and bites it. He then says, ”Wait. I’ll give you a chance to earn your money back, and more! I bet you 20,000 I can bite my other eye.” The agent thinks a minute and realizing the man isn’t blind, takes the bet. The old man takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye. He then says, ”Alright, last chance. I bet you 50,000 I can stand on this side of your office and pee into that wastebasket on the opposite side without getting a drop anywhere in between.” The agent thinks real hard but decides it’s impossible, so takes the bet. The man unzips his pants and pees all over the IRS agent’s desk. The agent jumps up and down and says, “Haha! I got you now!” But the man's lawyer goes pale in the face, sinks his head in his hands, and says, “He bet me 100,000 on the way over here that he could piss all over your desk and you’d just love it!”

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  • Meat

  • Why is it okay to stab meat, but I can't stab myself? These woke lefties, BLM, Antifa, feminists, eco-warriors, pro-vaccine libtards are stopping your freedom and right to stab yourself!

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  • Death

  • I wonder if any of these people are still alive.

    Anyways,

    When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.

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  • Orphanage

  • Guys, we gotta stop telling these jokes. They are getting out of h- oh wait no .... Continue.

    Yo daddy so stupid, he threw a Father’s Day party at the orphanage.

    What did the Catholic priest say to the other Catholic priest as they entered the orphanage? Let’s us prey.

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  • Stephen Hawking

  • "Stephen Hawking was talking about a cash register at Costco when he said I can’t stand these people. 😳😳😳😳😳😳 What did he saaaaaaayyyyyyy?"

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  • Tongue Twister

  • Tongue twister: Through three cheese trees Three free fleas flew. While these three fleas flew, freezy breeze blew. Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze; freezy trees made these tree's cheese freeze.

    That's what made these three fleas sneeze. 👍😀

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