Theses

Theses jokes

Flat

  • Q: Why are flat-earthers seen so many these days? A: Because one girl wore an earth-printed shirt.

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  • Fast Food

  • Who is the Hamburglar's perverted cousin?

    The Turdburglar.

    You really do not want to see the mess these two make of the washrooms in a fast food joint.

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  • Gorilla

  • An old woman walks into an outdoor supplies store.

    "I'd like an infrared gorilla," she says.

    The clerk proceeds to give her an infrared gorilla from the back room.

    "We've had hundreds of these things in the back for ages," exclaims the clerk. "You're the first person who's actually wanted one."

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  • Protest

  • Hello everyone, I would just like to apologize for participating in the protest and everything else I said. I was wrong and have recently found a way to see all these jokes as funny. I hope that you all can forgive me. ALYA

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  • Orphan

  • People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.

    Lore

  • Ok, so let me tell y'all the lore. Basically, what happened was there's these mfs called Rhys and a guy named Mobrur. Mobrur is a fish basically from Bangladesh and Israel, so he's just a fish because he's Netanyahu's cousin, and Liam is from Australia; he's just a white piece of crap.

    Basically, what happened was they knocked up each other because they were drunk and jumping on Netanyahu's beer belly, and it was all just a mess. Rhys is trying to get child support and half property from Fish, but he won't give it because he is nasty and claiming what isn't his, and he said, "No one likes you." So to summarize it, he killed him and is in jail now.

    And there he met Mooha and he turned straight, Alhamdulillah! EVERYONE SAY ALHAMDULILLAH! He became straight, then Mooha got knocked up in prison and the guards beat them and they died.

    Realm

  • In the realm of words, I shall embark, To craft a verse, both bold and stark, Thomas Bulgin, a name that ignites, A tale of length and moist delights.

    Free from the chains of structured rhyme, I wander through this realm, sublime, Thomas Bulgin, a phrase so strange, Evoking thoughts that rearrange.

    Long, it stretches, like a winding road, Leading us to depths, yet to be bestowed, In syllables, it dances and it plays, A journey we embark, in myriad ways.

    Moist, a word that teems with life, A touch of nature, amidst the strife, It whispers of raindrops on tender leaves, Of dew-kissed petals and gentle heaves.

    Thomas Bulgin, a phrase so surreal, Unleashing emotions, that time cannot seal, In this short verse, I strive to convey, A glimpse of what these words might say.

    So let us ponder, the mystery untold, Of Thomas Bulgin, both long and bold, For in the realm of poetry's sweet embrace, Even the unusual finds its rightful place.

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  • Snake

  • There is this little boy, and he gets in the shower with his mom and looks up and says, "Mommy, what are those?"

    She replies with, "These are my headlights."

    He looks down and says, "Mommy, what's that?" She says, "That's my garage."

    So he gets out of the shower and gets in with his dad and looks down and says, "What is that?" The dad says, "This is my snake."

    Later that night, he wakes up in the middle of the night and screams, "Mommy, Mommy, turn off your headlights and close your garage. Daddy's snake is trying to get in!"

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  • Legend

  • Hi, I'm Claire. I am new to this website. I have been seeing these "Legends," and I've been tracking one specifically, watersharky. I have questions about him. Is he nice, protective, single? If anyone has any more information about him, please tell me.

    Body

  • How do you make a body disappear?

    You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!

    P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.

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  • Restaurant

  • I arrived at a restaurant early and the manager said, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "I don’t mind," and he said, "OK. Take these trays to table 9."