University

University Jokes

Sun

Why doesn't the Sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees.

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  • Minor

    Why wasn't Michael Jackson admitted to college? He refused to declare a major; he only wanted to do minors.

    Chuck Norris

    Sonic can run around the world in a second.

    In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.

    KFC

    What's the darkest point in the universe?

    The inside of a KFC.

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  • Scale

    On a scale of Johnny Depp having an erectile dysfunction to Michael Jackson exposing himself in a child day care center, how hard is it to get into Oxford?

    Food

    Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."

    Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"

    Pen

    I was studying in Turin, and my professor told me I had to use PENS only.

    I looked in my bag for pens, and they were GONE. I looked at the surveillance footage and saw that CRISTIANO PENALDO stole ALL MY PENS. I was fuming. Shame on you, Penaldo!

    Life

    Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"

    Me: power button.

    Sun

    Why didn't the sun go to college?

    Because it already had a million degrees!

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  • Degree

    What's worse than having an honorary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and having an honorary degree from Harvard.

    Bear

    Why didn't the bear go to college?

    Because bears don't go to college.

  • 2
  • Graduate

    What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?

    "Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"