Theses jokes
Man, all these jokes suck. They're horri-puning.
When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)
These two guys were texting each other.
Guy 1: How are you?
Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*
Guy 1: ???
Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)
"Why are all these orphans here?" said Chris.
"Because their dad went to go get the milk," said MrBeast.
3 Years Later,
"I AM GIVING APPLE IN A SHARE TO EVERY ORPHAN IN THE WORLD, AND I'M ALSO GIVING EACH OF THEM 1000000000000 DOLLARS."
I just found out, these jokes are about dead people.
I say these jokes are life saving material. Who's with me?
These jokes crash and burn.
Hello everyone, I would just like to apologize for participating in the protest and everything else I said. I was wrong and have recently found a way to see all these jokes as funny. I hope that you all can forgive me. ALYA
I see all these 9/11 jokes, and I’m disgusted. I personally won’t make a 9/11 joke because they have a tendency to crash and burn.
If I tell Stephen about these jokes, what is he gonna do? Chase after me? He better run fast!
So you see all these Baby Yoda memes when you go online, But you have never really seen the show with him.
He is just SOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Look at these kids stealing ideas, bro. They're going to jail."
Comedy is so woke these days. You can't make fun of any disadvantaged group.
Except people with Alzheimer's. They'll just forget you made the joke in five minutes anyway.
An old woman walks into an outdoor supplies store.
"I'd like an infrared gorilla," she says.
The clerk proceeds to give her an infrared gorilla from the back room.
"We've had hundreds of these things in the back for ages," exclaims the clerk. "You're the first person who's actually wanted one."
A professional golfer driving his Porsche picked up an Irish girl hitchhiker. He had his golfing gear on the back seat. The Irish girl picked up something and asked, "What are these?"
"Those are tees," he said. "I rest my balls on them when I drive."
"Wow!" said the girl. "What will those car makers think of next!"
All these African jokes aren't funny when you are a lover of Africa, how are there still Africans alive? Y'all are racist and may God forgive you. You know we're rich with natural resources, that's why y'all come to steal from us. Shame on you all!
When I'm peeing in a toilet I don't pee directly into the water. I pee on the curved part of the bowl beside the water because I figure it splashes less, but when you're peeing that close to the edge, the sporadic tiny offshoots of pee become a greater threat.
I'm not sure if the accumulation of these offshoots is greater than the potential splashback from peeing mid-bowl. It's possible that I'm thinking about this too much, but it's also possible that I'm not thinking about this enough.
I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets.
He said that he wasn't always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.
These girls were bullying a kid. I asked if they were raping him. They stopped.
There is this little boy, and he gets in the shower with his mom and looks up and says, "Mommy, what are those?"
She replies with, "These are my headlights."
He looks down and says, "Mommy, what's that?" She says, "That's my garage."
So he gets out of the shower and gets in with his dad and looks down and says, "What is that?" The dad says, "This is my snake."
Later that night, he wakes up in the middle of the night and screams, "Mommy, Mommy, turn off your headlights and close your garage. Daddy's snake is trying to get in!"