Thereness jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who.
It is an owl!
There are 3 men: an American, a French, and an Italian who have to take a trip and take the plane.
The American puts his hand out the window and says: "We are in America, I touched the Statue of Liberty." The French says: "We are in France, I touched the Eiffel Tower." The Italian says: "We are in Italy, I touched the garbage!"
You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?
You're-a-peein'. European.
An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.
The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.
Autoerotic asphyxiation because hanging in there can be hard.
There are painkillers, but they only relieve physical pain. I wish something could relieve my internal pain.
Knock knock. Hwoo's there? Far from home. Hwoo's far from home? Spider-Man.
There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
There is one difference between autistic kids and vegetarians.
They're both vegetables in serotonin ways.
What’s the best part about sex with twenty eight year olds?
There are twenty of them.
Today, my mother was making breakfast. As she was tired, my brother asked if there was anything to do today.
She responded with a list:
- Take out the trash.
- Clean your room.
- Make lunch and be sure to butter the electrical sockets.
That’s all sweetie!
If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "MOO!"
Dad, there was one day I was playing jump rope with a pig, and then I made pulled pork out of him.
Son, he is dinner.
Updated - Grad 2020 Commencement Groupings.
Updated - Grad 2020 Commencement Schedule.pdf
Dear Grad Parents, Please pass the attached Commencement schedule on to your graduate(s). We ask that students arrive 15 minutes prior to their scheduled time and that they do not arrive early. Staff will greet the students outside the main entrance. Students may wear cap and gowns and/or formal wear. There will be more information to follow in the coming days. Thank you.
(Shared from the "Wolves E-genda" app.)
Why are there 25 letters in the alphabet? Because the D is in U.
Who’s stronger in a relationship, a man or a woman? A woman, because it takes six men to carry him to his grave; it only takes one woman to put him there.
Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Yo mama!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dumplin.
Dumplin who?
Dumplin the killer.