Thereness jokes
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not Susie!"
So, there was a kid named Bobby, and he was writing notes. He asked his mother, who was on a phone call, "what is one plus one?" She said, "I HATE YOU." Then he asked his brother what is 2 + 2, who was watching a Batman movie, said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" Then he asked his dad what is 4 plus 4, who was playing football, said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he asked his sister 8+8, (she was playing with barbies), and she said, "My buns are burning." Then he went to school and told her teacher the first note he wrote down. The teacher sent him to the principal’s office. The principal yelled, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" Bobby said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" The principal yelled, "HOW MANY SPANKINGS DO YOU WANT?!" Then he said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he walked away from the principal’s office and said, "my buns are burning."
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she didn't have any arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
The fool says in his brain, "There is a god."
Do you know how babies are made? The boy puts his penis in the girl's butt and goes up and down for ten minutes. Then the girl takes a pregnancy test, and if it says no, then you keep doing it until she is pregnant.
The boy will lick the girl down there, and she will put his penis in her mouth and suck it. Then he will spit on his hand and rub it on her boobs and lick/suck them.
Why isn't there a ball pit at Taco Bell? Because it's hard to have fun knowing you might poop your pants.
One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, "Just because you killed the butterfly, you don't get butter for a week."
They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, "Nice try."
One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him.
There was a crying pandemic going around.
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Joe.
Joe who?
Jo Mama!
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.
I have a friend who recently stopped smoking, and the withdrawal was causing hallucination. He went to my house and thought there was a shark in the pond in my backyard. So, I would like to dedicate these lyrics to my friend: "I see a dreamer over there by the water!"
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that Keagan's FIFA team should be this terrible, also the problem is that Keagan is a Real Madrid fan.
A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"
The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."
"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."
The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."
The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."
"I am. But the steaks are too high."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A.
A who?
A-bless you!
Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.
There is nothing funnier than my life. (Evan 2020)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Nonye.
Nonye who?
Nonye buisness.