Thereness jokes

Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.

First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”

Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”

What animal jumps the highest?

An emo kid, some of them are still up there.

Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa Claus?

They're the ones that make the toys.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on his side, there was a KFC shop.

I hate family reunions. I see too many of my exes there.

1, 2, 3, A, B, C, D, and there's a D in it and there's also a 3. That's how long your D is!

I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.

Why can't orphans be gay?

There's no one to call "daddy."

Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"

The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."

A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.

He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.

He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later there's a knock at the door.

He opens it and sees the same snail.

The snail says, "What was that all about?"

I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.

Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there.

There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”

Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?

Orphan: I don't know what you mean.

Me: There is no one to give a present.

What is the similarity between an orphan and the new Spider-Man movie, "There's No Way Home"?

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Terrier.

Terrier who?

Your Halloween decorations are terri-fying!

What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? The Wall was their last big hit.

Okay, long story fast, I walked to GameStop in my house, in the kitchen, by Walmart, to a BTS Squid Game concert, and Drake and Pablo were there for her labor in the Cowboys stadium by Nike, so I bought a pencil from a dead alive man. He said "ZOO WEE MAMA." So yeah.

There were three women, one was curvy in all the right places, one was skinny but had a booty on her, and last but not least there’s one that has a BBL. Then comes in a famous rapper, guess which one he picked???

My family is like a cactus. They're a bunch of pricks.