Thereness jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Little old lady, you don't need to yodel about it. Yodel who? Yodel who?
Knock knock, who's there? God.
God who? NO, you idiot, there is no God. I am your father and you have locked me out of my own house!
So there’s this air purifier in my room, right? It’s really noisy, so I unplugged it to sleep better, and sure enough, I fell asleep faster. So I came to the conclusion: if I unplug noisy machines, people will sleep better.
It worked really well in my local hospital.
I think our destination is under there.
Under where?
Pretend you are an old man who is 77 years old and there are 7 doors, which door should you pick?
The seventh door.
Why don't orphans play tag?
Because there's no one to catch.
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
Why were there so many victims in the Grenfell flat fire disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
Texas is such a shitty state. There’s a reason it only has one star.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.
Your hairline is like a math expression, there is no solution.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hankery panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill,
And now there's little Frankey.
I made a website for orphans.
There’s no homepage.
Cemeteries are so popular! People are, like... dying to get there.
There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's just a joke!
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
What is the similarity between an orphan and the new Spider-Man movie, "There's No Way Home"?
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.