Thereness jokes
Why can't America play chess?
They're already missing 2 towers.
Last night little Johnny went to his room and saw people hanging out there, little balls.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on his side, there was a KFC shop.
Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.
Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who are you? Are you an owl or something?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W. H. O.
Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.
Hello everyone, now a question to make it in there is no right or wrong answer, but who here has watched fireb0rn??
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Di.
Di who?
See, easily forgotten.
Is that a person over there?
Na, it's Jesus.
I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.
When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"
I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.
Me: Knock, knock.
Other person: Who’s there?
Me: Atch.
Other person: Atch who?
Me: Bless you!
Me: Knock knock.
My Grandma: Who’s there?
Me: Interrupting cow.
My Grandma: Interrupting c-
[Dies from heart attack]
Your hairline is so far back, Paw Patrol couldn't finish their mission.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A dragon.
A dragon who?
The dragon gonna drag its balls across your face.
I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.
Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there.
Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?