Thereness jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W. H. O.
Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.
Hello everyone, now a question to make it in there is no right or wrong answer, but who here has watched fireb0rn??
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Di.
Di who?
See, easily forgotten.
Is that a person over there?
Na, it's Jesus.
I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.
When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"
I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.
Me: Knock, knock.
Other person: Who’s there?
Me: Atch.
Other person: Atch who?
Me: Bless you!
Me: Knock knock.
My Grandma: Who’s there?
Me: Interrupting cow.
My Grandma: Interrupting c-
[Dies from heart attack]
Your hairline is so far back, Paw Patrol couldn't finish their mission.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A dragon.
A dragon who?
The dragon gonna drag its balls across your face.
I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.
Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there.
Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh, Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”
Yo mama so fat, she meets every world leader there is!
lmao
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who.
It is an owl!
I got my daughter a trampoline for her birthday. The ungrateful bitch just sat there in her wheelchair and cried.