Thereness jokes
There is no god. None, not one.
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find God, he'll help you!"
Then the man said, "There’s only one way to get to God, and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?"
There is going to be a wild party at the orphanage, the parents aren't home.
CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.
Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.
Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod
A young boy was picked up by a strange young man who put him in his car and drove into an abandoned farm.
"This place looks scary," the kid said.
And the man replies, "I know right, I have to walk out of there alone."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Little old lady, you don't need to yodel about it. Yodel who? Yodel who?
Knock knock, who's there? God.
God who? NO, you idiot, there is no God. I am your father and you have locked me out of my own house!
So there’s this air purifier in my room, right? It’s really noisy, so I unplugged it to sleep better, and sure enough, I fell asleep faster. So I came to the conclusion: if I unplug noisy machines, people will sleep better.
It worked really well in my local hospital.
What does Michael Jackson have in common with Kmart?
They're both dead...
I think our destination is under there.
Under where?
I don't trust stairs, they're always up to something.
Pretend you are an old man who is 77 years old and there are 7 doors, which door should you pick?
The seventh door.
Why don't orphans play tag?
Because there's no one to catch.
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
Why were there so many victims in the Grenfell flat fire disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
Texas is such a shitty state. There’s a reason it only has one star.
Why do orphans air?
It’s invisible just like their parents.
My friend dumped me, so I stole their wheelchair.
Have a guess who came crawling back?
Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.
Your hairline is like a math expression, there is no solution.