Them jokes
I really like those "driverless cars." I saw loads of them last week in the car park.
Friend: My mum took my phone from me, and I really want it back.
Me: Yeah, well, Hades took my parents from me, and the funny thing is, I don't want them back.
Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents can't push them on the swing!
How to Make an Orphan cry
Step 1: Talk about Home.
Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.
Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!
What should people do with their floppy dicks?
I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!
My relatives used to tease me at weddings, saying I'd be next. They soon stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Why can’t an orphan play games with a full house in them? Because they don’t know what a full house is.
Why do orphans not like the movie Frozen?
Because for them, love isn't an open door.
Why can’t orphans eat cereal with milk? Cause mummy never gave them some.
Yesterday I had a party.
I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.
I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!
What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?
Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.
Yesterday I had a party in my basement.
I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?
When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"
God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:
God: No, I don’t want to.
Which of these is the smartest; also, list them too: Is it autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
Yo mama so disgusting, she hangs toilet paper to dry after she wiped with them.
What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?
There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.