Them jokes
One time in camp, I kissed my bunkmate Bret in the shower. He cupped my breasts and lathered them in Prell, but I'm totally not gay... :)
Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Two nuns were sitting on a bench. A flasher flashed them, and one of the nuns had a stroke... but the other one was too far away :)
Why do women have periods?
Because they deserve them, haha!
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
What should people do with their floppy dicks?
I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!
Why can’t an orphan play games with a full house in them? Because they don’t know what a full house is.
Why do orphans not like the movie Frozen?
Because for them, love isn't an open door.
Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.
"Nining leven BITCH. I don't know how to spell, but it's that shit where the planes flew into them towers."
I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Not everyone gets them.
My April Fool's joke is going to an orphanage and telling them their parents came back.
Hi, welcome to June's Orphanage. You make them, we bake them. How can I help you?
Why would a cannibal stop eating people?
If they got fed up with them.
What do you do when you are angry with an orphan? Hit them.
It's not like they can tell their parents.
Why do orphans miss every hit? Because no one is cheering for them.
There are two types of people, avoid them both.
Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."