I gave Helen Keller an Oculus and AirPods for her 12th birthday, and she hated them and me.
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.
We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.
"Nining leven BITCH. I don't know how to spell, but it's that shit where the planes flew into them towers."
I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.
What does Justin Bieber and a rabbit have in common?
They're both adorably cute and everyone loves them except for Justin Bieber.
Have a child you don't want? Just drop them off at a school they don't know and drive away.
People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.
How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.
Nepali people are so fucking racist, like I want them all to be extinct.
Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.
There are two types of people, avoid them both.
Have anyone seen my balls? I can't find them on my chest.
Hey! My balls are on your thing!
Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.
Why do orphans miss every hit? Because no one is cheering for them.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? I fucking hate their whiny asses and beat them up.
What does your dad's cock and Darryl's Savouries have in common?
I want them both in my mouth!
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.
Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.
Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?
