Them jokes

I gave Helen Keller an Oculus and AirPods for her 12th birthday, and she hated them and me.

If a sped is late for class, is it wrong to call them tardy?

Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Why do we name hurricanes?

To keep an eye on them.

Is it bad to hit an orphan?

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

It depends how hard you throw them.

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.

Why are your eyes blue? Cuz they have food coloring in them.

I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over them.

"Dad, did you get a haircut?"

"No, I got them all cut!"

You text someone to ask them why they snobbed you. Then they snob you again.

What's the difference between yo mama and German men?

The balls... German men don't have them.

"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.

If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"

Why was the rapper always on time?

Because they had a PHAT BEAT to keep them in check!

A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.

Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.

Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?

My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.

It's fucked up how people make these jokes, and when orphans read them, it makes them feel worse about themselves. I should know, I'm an orphan.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

It depends on how hard you throw them.