Them jokes

People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.

How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.

What does Justin Bieber and a rabbit have in common?

They're both adorably cute and everyone loves them except for Justin Bieber.

Nepali people are so fucking racist, like I want them all to be extinct.

Why does the military pick orphans as fighter pilots?

Because homing missiles don't work on them.

What does your dad's cock and Darryl's Savouries have in common?

I want them both in my mouth!

I really like those "driverless cars." I saw loads of them last week in the car park.

Like, if you hate wearing a mask.

Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!

True story by the way.

Friend: My mum took my phone from me, and I really want it back.

Me: Yeah, well, Hades took my parents from me, and the funny thing is, I don't want them back.

Why can’t orphans eat cereal with milk? Cause mummy never gave them some.

Yesterday I had a party.

I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.

I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!

Yesterday I had a party in my basement.

I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!

Why can’t an orphan play games with a full house in them? Because they don’t know what a full house is.

Why do orphans not like the movie Frozen?

Because for them, love isn't an open door.

Is it bad to hit an orphan?

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.

What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?

Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Why are your eyes blue? Cuz they have food coloring in them.

I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over them.

God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:

God: No, I don’t want to.