"Dad, did you get a haircut?"
"No, I got them all cut!"
Them Jokes
You text someone to ask them why they snobbed you. Then they snob you again.
What's the difference between yo mama and German men?
The balls... German men don't have them.
If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"
A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.
Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.
Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
It's fucked up how people make these jokes, and when orphans read them, it makes them feel worse about themselves. I should know, I'm an orphan.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
Say "I hate happiness" without the H (all of them).
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.
Gay people when the GPS asks them to go straight.
Lesbians when the GPS asks them to go straight.
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.
Orphans actually have an advantage. Nobody can call them motherless or test-tube babies in an argument.
On April Fool's, go to an orphanage and tell them that their parents are here to pick them up.
My jokes are like your dad, you only see them for a few days.
Why do orphans die when a tornado comes?
They don't have parents to protect them.
