Them jokes

Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

It depends how hard you throw them.

When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.

If a sped is late for class, is it wrong to call them tardy?

You text someone to ask them why they snobbed you. Then they snob you again.

I gave Helen Keller an Oculus and AirPods for her 12th birthday, and she hated them and me.

Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?

A: You give them a Sandy Hook.

Which of these is the smartest; also, list them too: Is it autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?

What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?

There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.

What's the difference between yo mama and German men?

The balls... German men don't have them.

Why was the rapper always on time?

Because they had a PHAT BEAT to keep them in check!

Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.

"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.

I hope next time you ask your teacher to go to the toilet, your teacher says no, but when someone else asks, the teacher says yes to them.

You abuse me that I have no beards, but your sugar daddy shaved them off to look cute. 🤔

You know what? I know five fat people, and you're four of them!

If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"

Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."

Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

Why don't orphans go to the park?

Because their parents can't push them on the swing!