Them jokes
"Jordan, motherfucker, your face looks like a slut, and your life is trash. Stop picking on kids and LEAVE THEM HELL ALONE!"
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”
Repost
When you think of the word "simp," you think of a girl. "Girl" stands for ghosts in real life. Another word for simp is "ding dong." Put them together, and you get ghosts in real life with ding dongs.
Meat stands for: M - monitoring, E - evaluating, A - assessing/addressing, T - treatment.
So when you're shoving meat up people's asses, then you're monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them.
I need more webs and I need more supplies for more webs, how do I make them? With spiders!
Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.
What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?
Put them in a barking lot!
What’s the worst part about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair.
If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?
White people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kill them, rape them, and enslave them.*
Natives: Can y-
White people: Hey, you remember all that horrible sh*t we did to you? Let's have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives.
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."
How do you ground a Gen Z?
Make them go outside and socialize.
How to make an orphan die?
Tell them to yell until their folks come home.
"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?
Both of them.
Handicapped jokes are so cruel.
I can't stand them!
Why do midgets run on balls?
Because the grass tickles them.
How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?
A blender.
How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.