Them jokes
What's the best thing about having sex with 28 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
Rape, 9/11, abortion, orphan, murder, dead, kill, drugs.
What makes all these categories so familiar? Either you've experienced them, or made them up in your backstory.
What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?
The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.
(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)
The teacher asked a young boy in primary school, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"
To which the boy replies, "No."
The teacher then sets his homework to learn the alphabet.
At home, the boy goes up to his mum, who is on the phone, and asks, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"
"Shut up," she replied.
The boy goes to his dad, who just won the footie match, and asks, "Can you teach me the alphabet?"
But the dad is too busy celebrating and shouting, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"
The boy goes to his big brother and asks him to teach him the alphabet.
But his brother is singing, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"
The boy goes to his sister and asks her for the alphabet.
But his sister is singing, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"
The next day the teacher asks him the alphabet.
The boy replies, "Shut up."
"Alright, I'm sending you to the principal's office right now."
The boy replies, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"
In the office, the principal says, "Who do you think you are?"
The boy replies, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"
The principal now says, "How do you think you'll get away with this?"
The boy then replies, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"
You're walking alone on a street when a person slaps you with a silk glove and runs away. As you watch them run, 2 cops are chasing them.
Myrtle Beach has a clear blue sky and sunny weather, a pleasant place to visit as a family. Don't you think they are not evil creatures, and do you think they have them?
"No, there are no ghosts or evil creatures." You can say that, but don't be surprised when Gina Claw Scare comes for you, aka GCS for short. Gina Claw Scare was born in North Carolina in August 1991. She died in 2000. No, that's not real. WRONG. Gina's real name was Gina Clawien Scaren. Yes, that's why her name is Gina Claw Scare. Why did she die? I know, right? She died from a curse from her bad companions. We never knew their names. The curse sent her down a dark path, demons and hate comments from people on Instagram, Facebook, and the worst jokes on the site.
Gina Claw Scare loved fire, which means she was a pyromaniac. She would rise from the grave in which she was buried. Did what? Stop, for real this time!
They buried her on a lawn in the forest that caught fire. "HARSH MAN!" I know, right? She rises from that grave, she comes for the people who call her by name four times. Then she beat the drums and set your house on fire! A fire so harmful that you can feel hurt, friends. You can hear everyone's screaming, and then become like her. Never say her name. NEVER.
What present can a pimp always buy his hoes to both show how much he thinks of them and know they can never get enough of?
Condoms!
What's the best thing about having sex with a 26-year-old?
There's 20 of them.
Scrolled through all of them, still haven't laughed.
My sister got in a car crash a couple days ago. When she got to the hospital, the doctor told her that she needed to get metal mechanics in her leg.
She got really scared and yelled at the doctor, telling them that, “I will not get those implanted in my leg.” I guess she just doesn’t associate with knee gears.
I was coming out of airport and a rober kept his gun on my head I requested him please don't kill me as I have my old mom and dad at my home . Kill Them.
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.
My disabled dad went to the grocery store.
He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him.
Finally, he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle.
Why are orphans always sad?
Because their parents aren't there to cheer them up.
How do you stop constipation?
You scare the crap outta them.
(Crap is another word for poop.)
I was at my grandpa's this weekend and I sent my online girlfriend nudes, and when I sent them, my grandpa's phone went off, so he went on his phone, then my girlfriend replied.
How does a prostitute that has blond hair and polish and a gay white male kill erectile dysfunction for his clients?
He performs fellatio on them.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower? One of them gets picked.
What should we want?
Racecars.
When should we want them?
NEOWWWWWWWWWWWM!
A bear is like your best mate, Harry.
If you stab them, they die from a stab wound.