Them jokes
Next time you get a call from anybody, say, "Hi, welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
Or,
"Hi, welcome to Pizza and Abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce!"
All of them.
Helicopters fly because they are so ugly that the ground pushes them away.
How to make an orphan die?
Tell them to yell until their folks come home.
How do you ground a Gen Z?
Make them go outside and socialize.
me all the time
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."
How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?
A blender.
How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.
This is supposed to be worst puns but most of them are not puns.
What's tall, has a twin, and is in Manhattan?
Nothing, Bin Laden destroyed them all.
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
Only one of them stops sucking after you slap it.
Words that have "ho" in them:
Thot
Whore
Asshole
Horrible
Horena (my ex gf)
When a guy falls, it hurts them there. When a woman falls, it hurts more.
Why is an orphan really good at being naughty?
Because they have no one to tell them off.
If you're pan, all you have to do is get a sibling and make them get your parents to the outside of the pantry, and you burst out and then say you're pansexual!
How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?
Both of them.
Teacher: Tell me a moral story.
Little Johnny: Once my grandfather was in WW2. He saw everyone praising to kill him. For example, we should sneak up and kill him. We get the helicopter above and shoot him from there. My grandfather heard this, he got his gun and shot them all.
Teacher: What is the moral even?
Little Johnny: Never plan to kill my grandfather.
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"
One day I caught my sister talking to my girlfriend, and she said, "You never told me you're lesbian." I said, "No, not at all." My girlfriend asked, "Why did you not tell her?" and I said, "Because every time I bring a girl home, I hear too much noise in her room, and I never get the chance to kiss them because she's cleaning the trash." She said, "Yeah, the trash is her junk."