That jokes
You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."
I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.
Do you know that Helen Keller had a dog?
Neither did she.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits around the earth, she sits around the earth.
You're as tall as a giraffe.
Well, that's why you look like a baked bean!
Where do you bring a canoe that doesn’t feel good?... The boat dock.
You keep your quality beans for the right season till you realize that you planted them on the infertile land.
Chris said to me in P.E. that he likes Jacob, and he said he wants to go straight to the bedroom.
Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?
Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."
Therapist: That's not so bad.
Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."
Me: "WYD?"
Her: "Just dealing with a lot: depression, anxiety, and the feeling that I'll never be enough."
Me: "Without me? Lol"
Ur mom is so fat that when she came to the front door, she was already at the back door.
You're so fat that when you stepped on a scale, it said, "To be continued..."
Your mom is so fat that she doesn't need WiFi because she is worldwide.
What do you call a cow that can't milk?
A failure!
I play with balls. Not me, the girl that was "playing something."
Me: And this is the room I cry in.
Date: You've said that about every room.
Me: Correct!
Man, that's funny!
Your forehead is so big that you dream on IMAX.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
I remember my grandma's last words:
"What are you doing with that axe?"