That jokes

Did you hear that Ted Nugent had a beer thrown at him at one of his shows?

Answer: He was okay. It was a draft, so he dodged it easily!

You hear that? That’s the sound of me not caring.

What do you call a son of Gilgamesh that hates flashy lights? The epileptic of Gilgamesh.

@ Kobe the person under my joke, your hairline is so bad that Kobe Bryant could've lived if he landed the helicopter on your forehead.

Yo mama so old that she knew "The Outsiders" when they were "The Insiders."

I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.

Do you know that Helen Keller had a dog?

Neither did she.

The 11th of September is considered 9/11 in America. The Twin Towers fell on 9/11 in 2001, but to call an emergency in America, you dial 911! 😮 You could say they dialed that correctly.

A snake walks into the bar... the bartender says, "How the heck did you do that?"

Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.

What's an emo's favorite type of necklace? The kind that attaches to a ceiling beam.

Your mama is so fat that when she jumped, they found water on Mars.

A kindergarten teacher asks her students, "Do you know any words that start with P?"

Little Timmy responds with, "Elmo."

Yo mama so fat that when she was in Uranus, she picked her butthole.

Yo mama so fat that when he was talking to a man, her bowels fell out.

Me: Hey, are you going to Sawcon?

Sensei: What is that?

Me: Saw con deez nu...

Sensei: Oh, is it for people with ligma?

Me: What’s ligm...

Sensei: 😈

Me: no no no no

Sensei: Ligma ba...

Water, tastes that one tap in school:

A tier water at 3 am.

S tier.

12 pm water f tier.

Ever wondered how Jesus got rid of the cross that killed him?

Burned it in a hellish fire to make some firewood.

"Did everyone see that because I will not be doing it again."

- Captain Jack Sparrow

Don't commit suicide, that stuff kills you.