That jokes

I fucked your mum last night, that she was salty.

HEY D.K. date ME, not that weirdo Freshfry! I LOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVEEEEEE UUUUUUUUUUU D.K. Let's DATE! I'm 13 ;)

I would like to say that Jace, I disagree with you a lot, and I think you’re a very delusional person.

Me: I broke me bum.

Dad: Oh, that is bad. I will get some Pooh in the toilet so I can heal your bum.

You're so fat that you were the iceberg that made the Titanic sink.

What do you call a kid that lives alone?

An orphan. ;)

Yo mama is so ugly that even Donald Trump couldn't be inside her dreams.

What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?

Mooooooo my secret is that it's pasture bedtime, but not pasture bedtime!

A: Guess what kind of men/women do gold diggers like?

Q: One that has a sense of money.

What do you call a rocky formation covered in meat?

Meatcanyon.

(Meatcanyon is actually a YT that has like 1M subs so watch some of his content if you want to, lol!)

Person: Hey, do you know what's the best thing in life?

...

You do realize that I said nothing, right?

Me: Exactly :)

Hey, did you know that Stephen Hawking predicted the end of the world?

Well, not really. He predicted the end of *his* world.

What do dogs do that trees don't do?

Answer: They bark!

badoom ching

I was gonna tell you a pun about a bin but,

bin there, done that.

"Brandon, tell the teacher that I'm with Ms. Polack."

My friend Nickiya wanted to know what animal she'd be. I said that she would be a "Ni-cat-a."

Q: Why did the blind man fall into the well?

A: Because he couldn't see that well.

Yesterday, I saw an advert with a random woman dancing, and someone said that they were beautiful.

And then I said, "Except the fat people." And then I got sent to my room for saying that.

Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge?

It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava if they're active. And ours was.

"Bill, never do that again."