That jokes

You tell your dad what one plus one is and he says five. You forgot that your dad's brain is on the floor.

Yo mama is so fat that when she steps on a scale, it says "to be continued."

What do you call a house that isn't a house?

Not a house.

What's worse than having a comedian as president? Having a president that has dementia.

Yo mama's so fat that when Legolas killed her, Gimli counted her for two.

I fucked your mum last night, that she was salty.

Gwen, I am not gay. There is some stupid faker online! I swear on my life that I am not!

Btw, if I was gay, then why am I chatting and dating a girl?

Be careful, because I heard that NASA is going to send a rover to Uranus.

"Say, Tenya, I heard you say that you hate Gwen. Will [you] join us!"

I got a text from Kb. She said: "Really Gwen said that! Will fine Idc! \"Hurt\""

Thanks a lot, Gwen!

Did you know that dogs started the street craps game?

A man gave me 1 dollar that was ripped and laughed away. I wonder why he did that.

He did that on purpose to trick me, then I met him in the threes.

What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?

Mooooooo my secret is that it's pasture bedtime, but not pasture bedtime!

A: Guess what kind of men/women do gold diggers like?

Q: One that has a sense of money.

What do you call a rocky formation covered in meat?

Meatcanyon.

(Meatcanyon is actually a YT that has like 1M subs so watch some of his content if you want to, lol!)

Person: Hey, do you know what's the best thing in life?

...

You do realize that I said nothing, right?

Me: Exactly :)

"Brandon, tell the teacher that I'm with Ms. Polack."

My friend Nickiya wanted to know what animal she'd be. I said that she would be a "Ni-cat-a."

I was gonna tell you a pun about a bin but,

bin there, done that.

What is a car that runs and can't?