That jokes

Trump is so orange that he makes the Oompa Loompas look white.

I bought a wooden whistle. But it wouldn't whistle, so I bought a steel whistle. But it still wouldn't whistle. So I bought a lead whistle, but it still wouldn't lead me to whistle.

HAIKU JOKE:

Helen Keller could Fuck a blind man so hard that she Ends up with his child.

What do you do with a dog that has no legs?

Take him for a drag.

People claim that Trump has Russian ties. That’s not true, just some crazy conspiracy theorists. All of Trump's ties are made in China.

I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!

Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.

There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.

This is how my mom always threatens me: "I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too." That's why I only have 2 siblings left.

I wonder where the bodies are?

So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.

I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.

You're so ugly that if you looked in the mirror, you would walk into the light.

I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”

One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.

Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

Why is it that skinny men love fat women?

Because we need warmth in the winter and shade in the summer.

Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.

Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"

Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"

Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."

I found a key that works for every door at my school.

Does that dick match that forehead? 👀

Q: How do you catch a squirrel?

A: Act like a nut.

(Psst! Heard this joke before? Sorry! That's the only nut-and-squirrel joke I know.)