That jokes

So I went to a church and I asked a friend, "Is the picture on the wall Jesus, and does it have three nails or one nail?" Oh wait, that's not Jesus, he is not doing the T pose that he invited.

I have gathered intelligence regarding the Russian Forces that have been stalled in Ukraine for days. Apparently, they are installing rear view mirrors on their combat vehicles and tanks in order to see the battle at the front lines.

Scissoring is nice when I grind my wee wee on my wife’s clit.

Humping that little guy is like riding a wet butt plug.

I was playing basketball and a guy in a wheelchair asked if he could play.

I looked at him and told him that we are looking for ankle breakers, yours are already broken.

Your mum is so fat that when she looks in the mirror, the mirror cracked!

Your hairline is so repulsive that my entire family got eye cancer from seeing it, and it goes so far back that you be looking like Vegeta.

You know that I drink water, right? I drink water because I am water. Water is water.

You ever had sex with a woman that is so fat, it counted as a threesome?

A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her.

Q: What do you call a cat living with a vet? A: A dead, shrivelled up cat on her death bed that is attached to their owner.

Isn't It Purrfect!

I would create an orphan website, but you need a homepage to do that.

Your dad is so stupid that when he jumped the fence, the gate was open.

What does pussy taste like in chocolate cream pie?

Don't ever ask me no damn question like that. I ain't never had no damn chocolate cream pie, you crazy?

I'm pretty sure that "MOI MOI" means "ME! ME!" does it?

What is the difference between human rights and the Earth?

The Earth has been to be between two games a year after school, a time and fun game that has.

I like my new... e-a-tree and a tree that is a magic house and a tree tree and a...

What's the difference between dark humor and normal humor?

Normal humor is ten babies and one trash can.

Dark humor is one baby and ten trash cans.

Scroll down for explanation.

Ten babies in one trash can; one baby in ten means that the baby was chopped up.

How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove box.

What do you call a duck that is addicted to drugs?

A quack head!

My mom must be a duck then...

Yo mama so old that when she farts, she farts dust!