That jokes
Me and my friend have a friend that's in a wheelchair, but he is so annoying, so we throw him in a fire. Now we call him "Hot Wheels."
What do you call a fat Chinese person that talks way too much? Panda Express.
Biden and Trump.
That's it. That's the joke.
Me: "Hey, get my joke on that timeline."
Her: "No."
Boy, your forehead so big, I can make a launchpad on that shit!
I went to a gun shop yesterday. Everything was half off. I didn't know that back to school sales have begun.
Yo mama so fat that when she fell on the concrete, nobody laughed, but the concrete cracked up.
Osama bin Laden
Got like 2,997 kills, damn, that's a new record!
What's something you shouldn't tell a paraplegic that's being confronted by a bully?
Just walk away.
You're so ugly that you made Hitler commit suicide.
Oliver Tree just died in a helicopter crash?
He doesn't have to worry about that because, according to him, life goes onionionionionionionionionionion.
"My love, I missed you."
"Aww, I missed you too."
"I did not miss *that* time!"
Donald Trump is so smart he got to take a cognitive test 4 times.
And if you think that's impressive, wait until you hear how many times he got to retake first grade.
What did Stephen Hawking say—I mean, type—when he saw a beautiful woman?
"That's the best shag I never had."
Yo momma is so fat that the ground shakes a lot as she walks.
You're so full of shit that you need a colostomy bag to clean you out.
No matter how black the person is, that cum will still be the whitest thing you'll ever see.
My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:
Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
Two men are sitting at a coffee table.
Mike: "I think I might have a drinking problem."
Joe: "Why do you say that?"
Mike: "Well, last week I got so drunk I blew chunks."
Joe: "That's nothing to be ashamed of; we all drink a little too much sometimes."
Mike: "No, you don't understand. Chunks is my dog's name."