That jokes
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde, and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard, and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.
The old lady thinks, "I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde, and she struck the pervert."
The blonde thinks, "I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me, and she slapped him."
The Frenchman thinks, "I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark, and she slapped me by mistake."
The Englishman thinks, "I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again."
Sy'kyira (😌): I can't wait for the therapist to come.
Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.
Sy'kyira (😅): SAME!!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???
Daina (😌): I know, right?
I was at a My Chemical Romance meet and greet that Gerard didn’t attend, I just thought... “NO WAY!”
The maid asked her boss, the wife, for a raise, and the wife was upset.
The wife asked, "Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"
Maid: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you."
Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?"
Maid: "No, the gardener did."
Wife: "So how much do you want?"
You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.
Yo Mama so fat that when she took a photo of herself to get it printed out, it took 15 years to finish!
Did you know that French fries aren't from France? They're cooked in Greece.
Teachers at a school shooting be like: damn it. That's the third one this week and it's only Monday.
They say mistakes make you stronger. If that were true, then whoever made that nonexistent thing called “women's rights” would have muscles bigger than a white girl.
Why do orphans wish they had a bounty on them so that they can be wanted?
What do you call cheese that is not your cheese?
Nacho cheese.
That forehead is so tall it can eat a plane! Open wide!
Your mama's so fat that when she went to space, there was no space left.
Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.
Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
You said that you would never forget!
What do u call a girl that runs faster than her brothers?
A redneck virgin!
North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.
Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."
The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."
Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.
I asked my sister to get me a cup of fruit punch. I realized she was taking a bit so I walk to the kitchen and noticed that she spilled it on herself. I asked her, "How did you do that?" but there was no response.
What do you call a person that inherits a lot of money?
A millionheir.