That jokes

Lynx: For that cheap teenage smell of desperation.

A person walks into the bar and said, "Hey barman, get my son a drink and tell him his dad is dead."

Who said that?

I asked the little German girl to rate our sex between 1-10. She kept crying and shouting "9!"

That's the best I've done so far.

You're so skinny that you use Chapstick as deodorant.

I saw my sisters masturbating with cucumbers and hotdogs.

I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like hotdogs and cucumbers!"

Yo mama's so poor that she only watches Frozen to hear Elsa sing "Let It Go."

Yo mama so gay that she made left and right turn straight.

— Wanna hear a joke about ghosts?

— No.

— That's the spirit!

Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.

Your forehead is so deep, not even curry can shoot from that deep.

What is meals on wheels to a Christian nationalist that is also a conservative Republican politician, a gay man in a wheelchair that is poor and also physically handicapped, and who is also well-endowed?

What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?

Answer: The family tree!

Biden: My girlfriend called me a pedophile. I said, "That's a pretty big word for a 9-year-old!"

In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.

You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.

Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?

Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.

Me: What is that?

Siri: Sugondese nuts.

Yo mama is so fat that every step she takes in the ocean creates a tsunami!

Chris said to me in P.E. that he likes Jacob, and he said he wants to go straight to the bedroom.

Confusion life question!!!

* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?

My grandmother made her passage on the Titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.

"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."

"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"