That jokes

So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.

The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"

My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.

What do you call crocodiles that don't say "swim" every day?

The fish do nothing. That is definitely a bad joke.

Your mama so fat that’s why Hulk gets big.

Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.

What is an orphan's favorite day?

Tomorrow: that is when the sun will come out.

I hope death is a woman. That way, she'll never come for me.

Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."

Yo mama so fat that Thanos had to snap twice!

Yo mama so stupid that she had an appointment with Dr. Pepper.

Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?

Moo!

Cow: I was just about to say that!

Your mama so fat that when you were born, yo mama gave you carpet burn.

Yo momma's so ugly that she made One Direction turn into the Other Directions.

It's so sad that Stephen Hawking has a whole category on here about him and he can't stand up for himself.

A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"

Ever had a migraine? Yeah, sorry that’s my fault. Couple years ago, all my grains got loose.