That jokes
What do you call seagulls that fly over a bay? Bay-gulls.
Doesn't having depersonalization mean that you're like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?
(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)
What do you call an alligator that likes donuts? A donutator!
What's dumb?
The Fetus Deletus joke!
Fucking hate that joke....
You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.
Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street."
Your forehead is so big that your name is Humpty Dumpty, the big forehead!
My ex-boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you… wait… also the regret after.
You're so ugly that when you came out of the haunted house, you had a job offer.
Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?
Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.
What do you call a kid that lives alone?
An orphan. ;)
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
I wish I could say that my life is a joke, but I can't because jokes have a meaning.
I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.
I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.
(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)
Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.
Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.
I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.
What did the fish say to the other fish when it got hooked?
"That's what you get for not keeping your mouth shut."
My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.
I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.