That jokes
My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.
I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.
Yo mama so fat that when she gets in the truck, it breaks.
"When I heard that not arguing or fighting in a relationship represents a lack of interest, that's when my girlfriend started missing her makeup box."
If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:
So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.
I locked Terri Schiavo in the freezer.
Hey, I thought that's where you were supposed to put vegetables!
Roses are red, Epstein's face turned blue.
Trump's on that list, And there's nothing he can do.
What’s one thing a man can do that a woman can’t?
Sit down and shut up.
I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.
Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.
What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
"A satisfactory."
Yo mama is so ugly that if she went on stage, the show would instantly say, "And that's a wrap!"
I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."
How does she know I have that?
Yo mama so fat that you need a jack stand to get her up.
I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A rhyme scheme that's all about the Benjamins!
What do you call a booty that can sing?
A crack-up!
What do you call an ass that’s a DETECTIVE?
An undercover pooper.
What do us emos all have in common?
Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."
A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”
The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."