That jokes

A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."

I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy!

Your mom is so fat that when she went on top of one of the Twin Towers, it collapsed.

My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.

I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.

How do you disappoint people in Africa?

Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.

But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.

Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!

Why can't black people have nightmares? Cause we shot the last one that had a dream.

They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it's poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important.

What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.

What do you call a factory that makes okay products?

"A satisfactory."

What do you call a booty that can sing?

A crack-up!

I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.

The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.

I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.

Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.

SLADE is proof that mental aging can go in REVERSE.

I’d say Leo is as sharp as a marble, but that would be an insult to marbles.

I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?

A rhyme scheme that's all about the Benjamins!

I would call Slade dense, but that would be an insult to rocks.

There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.

You're so fat that people say you're the biggest bird!