That jokes

Bro, I was told that "LMAO" meant launching missiles at orphanages. Well, I LMAOed. I don't think they are ever gonna see their parents again.

What do you call a cow that fell up the stairs?

Ground beef.

What is Meat Loaf's new name now that he has passed?

Ground beef.

Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?

"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."

Did you hear about the car that turned into a wheelchair?

Why did McDonald’s kill somebody because they stole the 12-piece nuggets that will never be seen because of them!

I've been sad recently that the Twin Towers aren't around, so I made the conclusion to build a time machine to watch it again.

Yo mama so fat.

She is the reason why people think that the Earth is flat.

Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up."

Nobody stands up.

After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone."

Little Johnny stands up.

"Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?"

"Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."

Off-topic, but why is the picture in the baby category feet? And nasty feet at that? What am I, Dan Schneider?

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.

Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"

I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hangout.

I saw them hanging all day.

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.

Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.

Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."

What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?

Kid's.

I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"

I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.

If an orange is orange, does that mean it's orange?

Lynx: For that cheap teenage smell of desperation.