That jokes
I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.
Have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?
Teacher: Kids, what are some things you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friends to make me happy. Teacher: What about you, Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...
A couple has sex in the dark every single night.
One night, the wife gets curious about what goes on, so they start f...ing, and she flicks the light on. When she flicks the light on, she catches him with a dildo playing with her pussy. She's so mad that she started ranting and raving. The husband says, "Honey, I know you're mad, and I'll explain the toy. Just do me one favor: explain the children."
Your forehead is so big that your face touches your chin.
A teacher is doing an experiment about taste. She tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. She gives Suzy a pineapple one. Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. That is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn. The teacher hands him a honey flavor one. Jhonny chews it for a while, then says,
"Teacher, I don't know what it is.". The teacher tries to give him a hint and says, "it's what your parents call each other when you are asleep". Immediately the boy behind Jhonny screams, "Spit it out Jhonny, it's an asshole!!!"
Yo mama so disgusting that when she took a shower, the water turned into ditchwater.
What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?
For me, life.
Boy, your forehead so big, I can make a launchpad on that shit!
Why do people think that monsters are scary? Cuz they are so stupid.
Dear Kenya, I am very sorry for how rude I was to you. I just want you to know that I'm on your side and I'll never do it again. - Sincerely, Gwen
What do you call cheese that's not yours?
Nacho cheese!
1: Hey.
2: What?
1: We're outta paint.
2: *HMM*
(And that's how stop signs have extra paint.)
Somebody told me a chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.
When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!
What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool? The dry bear.
Your mum's hairline was so long that you decided to get therapy.
There's two types of emo people:
1. People that cut side to side.
2. And people that cut up and down.
The most efficient is up and down.
What is the difference between a human and human rights, and a tree tree, and a house that has to?
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.