That jokes

Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.

My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.

You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."

I hope you forget your password to something, only to send something to an email that you also forgot the password to.

Peter: Curses!

Jacob: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Peter: *Crying*

Jacob: Why are you crying?

Jacob: Whatever. *Leaves orphanage*

Anyone want a free pizza? Because you liking a pizza with toppings that not many people enjoy allows you to eat the entire guilt free pizza, that they said they didn't want and everyone already offered you a slice of.

Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣

What can you say about that homeless man's life and current status?

Wasted.

What can you say about planes that you can say about stocks?

They both be flying??

Have you seen the Justin meme?

Yeah, the ones that cracked at Fortnite?

Just-in time for deez nuts.

Bruh.

But actually, it's a parody.

Wait, actually?

Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).

A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.

IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!

Your mom was so fat that she couldn't have a man and couldn't go through the door.

I'M JOKING, DON'T GET MAD!

Do you know what Fortnite was like before season 2 chapter 3? They put the Foundation / The Rock in the water where aliens were that season.

Yo momma so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the floor cracked up.

Yo mamma so fat that she like that ocean, we haven't even explored 5% of her yet.

Yo mamma so old that when she farts, we have to dust again.

Yo mamma so dumb that she jumped off a building after drinking Red Bull.

Yo mamma so poor that when we went on a date, she took off her shoe laces and said "spaghetti."

But you could get plastic surgery and look 20 years younger. With that, no one will suspect you!

Best pick up line EVER.

There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.