That jokes
Sans: Pap, your spaghetti is bonearific.
PaprUs: Sans, no. Aw, your funny bone is not working; come on, that one was a rib tickler.
What did the hungry Dalmation say when he had some kibble? That hit the spot!
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
my therapist told me that time heals wounds i stabbed him now we wait
What do you call a selfie that an orphan takes?
A family picture.
What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk.
One man said, "The audacity on that deaf kid!"
The other man said, "Bro, does he even have audio?"
What do you call an Asian kid that is bad at math?
An orphan.
What does a waiter in a Chinese restaurant call a customer that won't leave a tip? A "plick."
How many times can you subtract ten from one thousand?
One; after that you're subtracting ten from 990.
Charlene's hairline was so big that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.
What do people have that orphans don't? A family.
I was watching T-Series and I thought to myself, "Man, this sucks!" My sister watches James Charles, and he always says, "That's T-Series." So is it him? SUB TO PEWDIEPIE! UNSUB TO T-SERIES! THEY SUCK!
You know that your grades are bad when you get a 66% on a test and your grade goes up.
Germans be like, “Guten Morgan.”
Bitch, that's not my name.
One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"
Teacher: Where were you born?
Student: The highway.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Student: I don't know, my mom says that's where all the accidents happen.
Why does shit come out your asshole? Cause fuck you, that's why.
One man's trash is another man's treasure. That sucks when you are adopted.
A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "May I have a bottle of arsenic, please?" She is shocked. "Why would you want something like that?" The man calmly tells her, "I want to poison my unfaithful wife and her lover." The pharmacist is now horrified. She said, "I can not possibly give you that. It is completely illegal and I would lose my license and be prosecuted for conspiracy and murder!" At this point the man hands the pharmacist a photo of his unfaithful wife having sex with the pharmacist's husband. She examines it then looks up at him. "Oh. I didn't know you had a prescription."