That jokes

Yo mama is so fat that when she was at school, they needed a satellite to take her school photo.

Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of studying and dying?

I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.

If you feel sad, or you feel that you are not loved... You're with mushroom pizza.

So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"

Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.

Girl: Your card got declined.

Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.

What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?

They get choked.

My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.

When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"

Me scrolling through jokes that sum up my life, starts crying.

My friend: What’s wrong?

Me: Nothing, it's just so funny. Lol😂🤣😂

I heard a joke about chocolate.

It wasn’t that funny.

I just Snicker-ed.

Tell your teacher this: "I passed a test that took 60 minutes. It wasn't your work, it wasn't my work, it was hour work!"

Someone threw a cup at my eye. I told 911 that I was mugged.

Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?

It had excellent mussel memory.

If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?

My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.

Kid: Licks money.

Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.

Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?

I drew a fist on a body, and then I drew a guy saying to him, "That dude's a knucklehead!"

I once had clothes that were so unbearably uncomfortable,

but I never realized they suited me.

What did Adam say when he saw Eve?

Answer: "Woman!"