That jokes
What do you call something that has 50 legs but can't walk? 25 disabled people!
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!
God = what I hope to be.
Devil = what I can't accept.
I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.
Your hairline is so far back that my father couldn't even reach the store in time before it grew!
This anorexic girl wanted to fight me. I told her that I would roast her, but she didn't have any meat.
Memes
If you non-band kids were wondering what band looks like
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back to it.
What do cannibals call a person that is running?
Fast food.
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
The best part about Poland 🇵🇱 is that the police lights are different.
Your forehead is so big that it made Mona Lisa smile.
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.
It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
It's just been discovered that as well as writing a book, Adolf Hitler also wrote one of the first computer games, "Mein Kraft."
Sydney has a fat pair of spammy flaps that smell of fish 🎣.
Here’s my hand, please hold it. That way I can say I was touched by an angel.
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
Yo mama is so fat that when she sits on the internet, it will take a day to send!
The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.