That jokes

Your hairline is so far back that my father couldn't even reach the store in time before it grew!

This anorexic girl wanted to fight me. I told her that I would roast her, but she didn't have any meat.

Yo mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology.

Is your ass jealous of the shit that came out of your fucking mouth?

I hate people that hate life.

Me at the same time: Is cutting self at night.

*hides scars* *acts like I'm fine* hehe

When an orphan takes a selfie, is that its family photo?

Q: What do you call a chip that goes fast?

A: A rocket chip.

Why did the dumb blonde pee inside the condom?

Because the doctor told the dumb blonde that the dumb blonde was going to get a urine test!

Yo mama is so fat that when she sits on the internet, it will take a day to send!

The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.

Here’s my hand, please hold it. That way I can say I was touched by an angel.

Everyone, if I am not online, that is because I am on a vacation, so yeah.

In the new Justice League movie, Flash can break glass by touching it, why is that?

Because Flash is not supported on Windows.

There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.

When an orphan takes a selfie, is that their family photo?

Yo mama is so strict that Thanos couldn't collect the Infinity Stones until he had done his homework.

I asked an orphan where his mom was. He started crying, so I said it again.

And well, that was my last day at the orphanage.

What do you call a cat that walks slowly?

CATerpillar

Why don't churches have WiFi?

They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.

The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."