That jokes

I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hang out.

I've seen them hanging all day.

What do you call a blonde in the freezer?

Her parents named her Jessica, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.

You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...

Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.

I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.

When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.

My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.

What do cannibals call a person that is running?

Fast food.

I told my friends that are gay that my hairline's straighter than he will ever be.

Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.

Sydney has a fat pair of spammy flaps that smell of fish 🎣.

They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.

It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.

Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?

His name is Vladimir Pootin.

The best part about Poland 🇵🇱 is that the police lights are different.

Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.

Guys, the person that said "suck a dick" was Mase. His real name is Mason, so ya.

God = what I hope to be.

Devil = what I can't accept.

I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.

Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.

Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!

What's an orphan's favorite toy?

A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back to it.

What do you call something that has 50 legs but can't walk? 25 disabled people!

The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!