That jokes

Dick

Guys, the person that said "suck a dick" was Mase. His real name is Mason, so ya.

Religion

God = what I hope to be.

Devil = what I can't accept.

I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.

Dad

Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.

Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!

Orphan

What's an orphan's favorite toy?

A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back to it.

People

What do you call something that has 50 legs but can't walk? 25 disabled people!

Slit

The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!

Hairline

Your hairline is so far back that my father couldn't even reach the store in time before it grew!

Girl

This anorexic girl wanted to fight me. I told her that I would roast her, but she didn't have any meat.

Ass

Is your ass jealous of the shit that came out of your fucking mouth?

People

I hate people that hate life.

Me at the same time: Is cutting self at night.

*hides scars* *acts like I'm fine* hehe

Blonde

Why did the dumb blonde pee inside the condom?

Because the doctor told the dumb blonde that the dumb blonde was going to get a urine test!

Mama

Yo mama is so fat that when she sits on the internet, it will take a day to send!

Cow

The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.

Angel

Here’s my hand, please hold it. That way I can say I was touched by an angel.

Flash

In the new Justice League movie, Flash can break glass by touching it, why is that?

Because Flash is not supported on Windows.

Animal

There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.