That jokes

Why did the dumb blonde pee inside the condom?

Because the doctor told the dumb blonde that the dumb blonde was going to get a urine test!

My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.

Yo mama is so fat that Naruto couldn’t make enough shadow clones to surround her.

I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hang out.

I've seen them hanging all day.

What do you call a blonde in the freezer?

Her parents named her Jessica, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.

My fitness guru said that if I got raped, it would help me in future marathons.

Woman gets pulled over by a cop.

Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"

Lady: "No, officer."

Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"

Lady: "Just water, officer."

Cop: "Looks like wine to me."

Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"

Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!

Why can an orphan never get picked up?

Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL

You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...

Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.

The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."

I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.

Okay, what do you call a dummy that writes a dumb writer?

Yo mama is so fat that a whole forest grew on her, but it was sad because she really smells, so the forest died.

Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?

Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"

What do the people in heaven that died on the Titanic call the Titanic? The Dietanic.

Yo mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology.

Is your ass jealous of the shit that came out of your fucking mouth?

Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.