That jokes
My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.
Someone threw a cup at my eye. I told 911 that I was mugged.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.
Kid: Licks money.
Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.
Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?
Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy?”
And then you die inside.
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?
An airstrike.
Yo mama is so fat that when she was at school, they needed a satellite to take her school photo.
Is that ass a water barrier 'cause dam[n]?
Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.
When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!
This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.
Your forehead's so big that you dream in 4k.
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
Me: How does this thing work?
ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.
ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*
Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.
I was born and raised in Newcastle.
My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. That's why orphanages exist!
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.
I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."