That jokes

Don’t stop orphan jokes. They’re funny, and people are just mad that they don’t understand the jokes because they're too STUUUPID.

Your hairline is so far back that it goes all the way across the globe.

What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?

Car-los

Guy feels something on his back.

“Oh God, please let that be a rifle.”

“Nope. I’m just real happy to see you.”

What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?

A belly button.

Papyrus: Sans, can you call Undyne for me and tell her that I found a human!

Sans: Sure bro, lemme just get on the Tele-bone.

Papyrus: Ssssaaaaannnnsss!!!!!!

Sans: Yea bro.

Papyrus: You know what? I will tell Undyne instead.

If Canada had to apologise for Bryan Adams on several occasions, it's only fair that Americans are tortured and waterboarded for bringing Katy Perry and Carrie Underwood to the world!

How can you be friends with a pedophile that's a musician?

B minor.

Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!

One of the students reported a school shooting.

That fucking snitch...

I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.

Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.

I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.

Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

Your forehead is so big that we may as well call it a fivehead.

My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?

Yo Mama is so FAT, it wasn't an iceberg that sank it, she was called, "THE MAMABERG!"

9/11 called for help. What did that get? Nothing.

Your forehead is so big that babies can use it as a full-sized football pitch!

Q: What do you call a skeleton that goes to school but doesn't do any work?

A: Lazy bones.

There's nothing else that can beat up dog.

What's up, dog?

Just my depression!

A man drinks beer and jumps off a tower, and he's okay. The other guy says, "Whoa, how'd you do that?"

He does it again, so the guy gets a beer, the same beer, and jumps off. He died.

The bartender looks at the original man who jumped off and says, "Superman, you're a real butthole whenever you're drunk."