That jokes

Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time!

Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.

Why did the orphan go to church?

So that they had someone to call father.

My wife hates that I have no sense of direction.

So I packed up my stuff and went right.

They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.

Me walking in to the office:

Principal: Tell me what you did?

Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...

Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?

Rolls Royce.

Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."

Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."

As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."

Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?

Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?

Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.

The fourth month (symbolizing 41%) on the first day, transgenders mourn for the trans suicides.

That day is called "April Fool's."

What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?

Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!

Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”

Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.

And 100% of men don’t care.

A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.

"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"

The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."

Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.

Your mom is so stupid that she thought LGBTQ was a sandwich.

You’re so fine that my zipper is falling for you.

For centuries the Catholic Church censored everything that wouldn‘t fit with their teachings. You know what I call that?

"Chancel culture!"