That jokes

Love that dress; it would look much better on my floor, though.

I wanted to make a joke about clocks, but I got no time for that.

Man: Hi, Doc, I have a problem. I take a shit at 6:00 AM every morning.

Doc: What's wrong with that?

Man: I don't wake up until 8:00 AM.

Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?

What's worse than a dead baby?

A pile of dead babies.

What's worse than that?

One's alive at the bottom.

What's even worse than THAT?

It eats it's way out.

Wait it gets worse...

It goes back for seconds.

Just one more I swear...

It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.

What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!

When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!

What is long, hard and has cum in it? Cucumber.

What is a 3 letter word that starts with S ends with X and has a vowel? Six.

Your forehead's so big that I was tryna figure out if that was you or the moon.

Is that a person over there?

Na, it's Jesus.

Is that my student?

Na! It is Jesus!

Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?

I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.

You're so ugly that your birth certificate is an apology.

People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.

The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."

9/11 2001... that day was fire🔥

Your mama is so stupid that she put a ruler under her pillow to see how long she slept.

A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.

What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."