That jokes

You're so ugly that when your mama had you, she tried to give you away, but there was nowhere to give you.

Your mama's so fat that when she went to space, there was no space left.

Your mama's so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, you can see Micah.

You're so full of shit that the toilet's jealous.

"9/11 people" say that jet fuel cannot melt steel beams.

If chickens make chicken nuggies, does that mean dinosaur chickens make Dino nuggies?!?

CONSPIRACY!!!

If trees were sentient, they would make their furniture out of bone, flesh, and blood.

Now ain't that cool?

I should name my dog Ariana Grande.

That way I could say that I fucked Ariana Grande.

Yo mama so fat that if we cut her open, we could stop world hunger.

What do you call a nazi that can’t see?

A nozi.

Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.

Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.

Other family members: ...

Your forehead is so big that it said, "To be continued."

What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?

"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."

I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.

Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."

Me: "I like it well done."

Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"

I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down, and he loved it. Not really, though.

I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...

I used to be emo.

If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?

There once was a man that wanted to join a group of right-handed men, but he wrote with the other hand. He got left behind.

Did you hear about that musical that was sung by some obsidian?

It rocked!

I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.