That jokes

The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.

And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"

Girl, you are so ugly that when you look in the mirror, it shatters, more than your relationship.

You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"

Bro, yesterday this bird made the weirdest chirp. It sounded something like this:

"Error code 6, 4, 4, 2, sound: bird call, failed to play, government drone 0, 7, 7, 5 requires maintenance."

Anyone know what bird that is?

Your hairline goes so far back that even your mom couldn’t see it.

We split because she would always say I never listen, or something like that.

Your hairline goes so far back that it had dinner with Jesus.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I have a traitor friend, and that is YOU.

I saw a kid in a wheelchair and I screamed, "EXTREME PARKOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Imagine if the kid in a wheelchair was in Fast and Furious. His wheelchair is the only one that keeps him going.

What do you call a German that can't see? A Notsee.

Hey, can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives you two nights in a row.

I had a dream that I was destroying the world, and I blew up my house for fun. I woke up and couldn't find my pillow... nor the house.

What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.

What do you call a plate that lies? Dish-onest!

Me: Okay, Papyrus. I'm no Sherlock Bones, but I'd say that Storyspin Sans is the Imposter.

Your momma is so dumb that when they said it was chilly outside, she came outside with a bowl.

I done a thing where we have chat hangouts with people that like Gwen or just want to hang out, do stuff.

All people are invited!

We have a lot! Enjoy!

Why does Lincoln like Ronnie Anne?

She is the only one that calls me "lamo."

POV: 11:07 PM At night, reading these when you notice that, like everyone else, you have no life.

My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.

I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?