That jokes

What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?

A white elephant.

I would like to remind all passengers that this is a no-smoking flight, although do feel free to join me in the cockpit, where we've opened a window.

In 69, the 6 looks like someone facing up. The 9 looks like someone facing down.

69 looks like 2 people suck each other’s dick. That means, L7.

Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.

You: Well, your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you don't even know how to do that.

And your IQ is 5.

I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.

And then I noticed that my cat was missing.

What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop!

When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?

I think that you're an accident!

I miss understood that, Miss Understood.

Think about you are so fucking high that you are walking to a lift and inside the lift are stairs. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

You're so trash that when I dropped you off, I got a ticket for littering.

Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time!

Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.

Why did the orphan go to church?

So that they had someone to call father.

My wife hates that I have no sense of direction.

So I packed up my stuff and went right.

They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.

Me walking in to the office:

Principal: Tell me what you did?

Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...

Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?

Rolls Royce.

Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."

Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."

As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."

Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?

Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?