No Shit Sherlock

Listen up, buttercup. This joke is for smart people. The first part says Benedict Cumberbatch had "crippling constipation" as a kid, meaning he couldn't go to the bathroom. The second part says "No shit Sherlock." This is a double joke. "No shit" literally means he couldn't poop, but it's also a common phrase meaning 'no kidding' or 'obvious.' And 'Sherlock' is who Benedict Cumberbatch plays. It's a pun! Now go think about why you need to go to bed early, you sleepyhead.