That jokes

Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"

Yo mom's so fat that she wakes up on both sides of the bed.

I'm about to tell a dwarf joke, see how short that was.

My sister said that I need to stop with the audited butt:

I got it from her when I was born.

A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.

Yeah, that was the punchline.

Are you happy to see me, or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and a detonator in your hand?

What do you call a protest that gets crowded?

Human trafficking.

B: Can you please stop roasting me?

A: At least the "roasting" that I did to you didn't burn you to death.

Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer, she went and put a log in it.

🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵

C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.

It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

Gotta dive and cry some more.

It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.

Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.

I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

My sister thinks she's sooooo smart. She said that the only food that makes you cry is onions, therefore I threw a coconut at her.

Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."

What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?

A stick.

China shouldn't play baseball because that would take out the whole world with one bat.

People said that Kobe could fly so high, but that did not end well.

What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

Yo mama so fat that when she went out in high heels, she came back in flip flops.

If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?