That jokes

A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:

"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."

The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"

What is a plane ✈️ that can not fly?

A fake one ☝️

Your mama so fat that when she went to McDonald's, they said, "Sorry, you've had enough, ma'am."

What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."

Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!

What do you call a physically handicapped heterosexual man that is in a wheelchair and German?

A physically handicapped promiscuous heterosexual man that is German.

My balls are so purple that I use them as crayons, and I am not talking about the balls you play with. I am talking about the boy balls.

I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!

That was a really crappy bun!

What do you call a bird with no wings?

Moas didn't even know that existed!

Were you born on the highway? That's where most accidents happen.

A lady weightlifter goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have a confession." The doctor asks, "What is that?" She replies, "I've been using steroids and....I think I've grown a penis." The doctor looks at her and asks, "Anabolic?" There's an awkward silence then she replies, "No, just a penis."

Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?

Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.

Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!

Teacher: Where’s the P?

Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)

Ur mom is so fat that when she came to the front door, she was already at the back door.

"My love, I missed you."

"Aww, I missed you too."

"I did not miss *that* time!"

Your hairline goes so far back that it stretches the length of Ohio.

This girl called me cute, and I told her don’t call me that. She says why, I told her, “Bitch, call me the Hokage!”

What did the owl that's a detective say?

"Hoo did it?"

1. Your face is so ugly, I thought it was deformed. It probably was anyways.

2. Even if Donald Trump had time to build a wall, it was probably so you won't squish us with your fatass.

If someone says your face is deformed, just say that's what happens when I look at you.

Welcome.

Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.